The 5 guys you date before you meet the 1

guys you meet before you meet the one

Dating before you meet the one is like riding a bike, except the bike is on fire and you are on fire. And everything is on fire and you are in hell. There are a bunch of mistakes you need to date before you meet the one.

The first


Ok, nobody ends up with the first one even if you think you will, you still won’t. You’re both so inexperienced there is no way you even know what you really want.  

The psycho


He’s obsessive, controlling, jealous and totally f^$#$@# nuts. At first any girl would love the idea of having a boyfriend who totally adores her and loves her too much. But you’ve just met and his intensity is suffocating you. He wants you all to himself. Because he’s psycho, his hormones are pretty unbalanced and he wants to fuck up anything that looks at you. There is a fine line between romantic gestures and borderline stalking/being a psycho especially really early on in the relationship and he keeps crossing it.


The bad boy

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Why do girls always think that they can change or fix “bad boys” like some kind of pet project. It’s because we are natural rescuers, we like a bit of a challenge. We like the idea of someone changing for us. But also at first it’s fun and adventurous, but once shit gets real, sobering reality sets in and you realise that drug dealing and knowing how to roll a joint perfectly ain’t going to get him far.

The old man

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Source: Getty Images

Literally every girl I know has dated an obviously older guy. I’m talking like 12 years older. Like he could be your dad older.  I think this is the time when we’d like to be saved for once. Like you’re broke, just out of uni, working your entry level job, eating noodles every night. You’ve always strived for better right? So when “dad” comes along, it works in a weird pedo way. Did I mention that this guy comes with a bunch of baggage?

The sponge

the sponge

Now that you have your shit together and you’ve become independent enough not to have to date the old man. You can hold your own and you meet “Mr Nice Guy”, at first he seems like really good marriage material. Ready to commit and very sweet. You soon find out that he’s eager to commit with good reason..he’s the 30 year old, who doesn’t quite have his shit together. Disguised as Mr. nice guy, this guy is always having car trouble and never enough money. He claims to always be broke but somehow finds money to spend on everything except on your future together. You end up taking care of him and paying for holidays and dates. 

There's a time and place for everyone I guess, but life is too short to end up with any of these dudes. if you find yourself with any one of these, just remember you're one step closer to meeting a perfectly balanced dude, a dude with a future.

Good Luck 


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