Relationships often develop much like people do – starting at birth, a magical and exciting time of a new beginning. Just like a newborn, a relationship also goes through exploring and getting a feel for it’s new environment but once the relationship “has legs” much like a two-year-old, it’s a time which may wreck havoc.
But what changes? Once the relationship can “walk” it can also push boundaries, it can get upset when it’s needs aren’t met, because it’s ready for more. It’s a time when things get real. After the initial romantic novelty wears off the relationship can give way to a sense of plateaued mediocrity. A period I like to call the terrible twos.
Any relationship is going to go through it’s up’s and downs, and feeling unsatisfied is natural but what you and are partner do about it to fix it, is the important part. The terrible two’s can really be a shitty period to go through in any relationship. Having recently gone through the terrible two’s, I decided to put together some tips on how to tackle your relationship slump and re-ignite your spark to get through your two-year blues.
1. Experience new things
Mix it up a little. Try new activities. Do stuff you wouldn’t normally do. You might be surprised how it brings you together. Go hiking, try a new restaurant, do a roadie. Life is about having fun and trying new things. You might discover a new hobby with your partner which will really bring you two closer together.
2. Go outside your comfort zone
Be open to to doing what your partner loves. By showing interest in his or her hobbies, you are actually showing that you give a shit. Be willing to do what your partner loves even if you end up hating it, the effort means so much more. Relationships include sacrifices.
Whether your love language is gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service quality time or physical touch, showing that you are thinking of them goes a long way. It’s important to listen to what their love language is and making an effort to show them you care. Not only will this make your partner feel special, but it also increases your partner’s confidence in your commitment to them.
4. Couples who train together, remain together
There is actual scientific proof that couples who exercise together are friskier and have better sex. There is something sexy about watching your partner work out.
When a relationship is stale, usually the sex is too. Try new things in the bedroom, talk about what’s lacking and each others sexual needs and get the lube!
6. Acknowledge the problem
This starts with communication, it’s the only way to mend the problem. It’s important to talk to your partner about why your needs are not being met and come up with compromises and solutions to the issue at hand.
7. Be willing to change
Relationships are about compromises. Maintaining a healthy long-term relationship takes thoughtfulness, planning ahead and being committed to putting ur partners needs ahead of your own. Take criticism constructively and make sure you’re both on the same page and have the same goals.
8. Date nights
Take turns planning date nights where you give each other your undivided attention. Connect with your partner on a deeper level and remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place.
The underlying message here is that there is no “easy way out”. Getting through the terrible two’s requires communication, compromise, compassion, a willingness to change, sacrifice and a fuck load of effort. All in the name of love <3